DVDA

Stewart's back from his jaunt back to Oz and then New York. He's been regaling all and sundry about his sexual exploits. He fisted a guy in a sling, I wonder if he lost his watch! He then apparently had a choice of fucking 2 pornstars. one black and one Brazilian. He picked the Brazilian and whiter than white Stewart who I'm now calling Honty Tonk Tina jumped on for a ride aboard the good ship STD! The worrying thing is, when he got back, he stayed at mine one night - I'm praying he didn't sleep in my bed.

Was out with Jon and Stewart last night. Cam was working and I welled up a bit when he was talking about our trip to New York! It's gonna be sooooo fucking fabulous! Stewart being the horndog he is was trawling all night for cock and was desperate for a cock and did his usual mad staring Tanya Turner/Jack the Ripper eye thing to attract a guys attention. Jon, meanwhile pulled some vile hag that he's been with before. He looks like Jon's twin brother and that's twice he's been rude to me. That's twice too much for my liking so I've decided he's trash.

I kind of felt like a third wheel so got Father Andrew to get my coat and I walked home. I woke up at 7am this morning with 14 missed calls on my mobile from Stewart and was lying in front of my TV. Jon was missing in action (well I don't know if there was action) and I was freezing. I had also had sausages at some point cos there was toast out and the George Foreman grill had been used. That's the 2nd time I've kinda blanked out. I'd think I have a drink problem but everyone knows the only problem is when the booze runs out.

PS - Father Andrew isn't really a Father in the religious sense but that's what he's called because he was training to be a priest but his love for the penises was stronger than his calling to God - in saying that, it's never stopped priests before! I sometimes think it would be good to fuck a priest, just to say that I've done it. Stewart said that's why he fisted that guy - to tick it off his list. I dread to think how long the list is and what it involves although I'm sure there's double penetration in there somewhere!

Speaking of which, the girls in work were horrified when I casually mentioned DVDA. I don't know how I got talking about Double Vaginal, Double Anal but I did - sometimes I think I should really censor myself more!