CHALLENGE CARESS

The fabulous and high priest of trash - Trashaddict has challenged me to now re-evaluate my 5 songs that I listen to and mean a lot to me. Fucker. I just wrote 5 tracks I've been listening to a lot. Like, who HASN'T been listening to Girls Aloud recently?!! So in no particular order and to please that bitch Trashaddict, here goes.......

1. Diana Ross and the Supremes - 'Livin In Shame' : This is my classic Supremes track. This could've been written about Diana because of her trashy upbringing in the Detroit projects. Diana in this track is pissy about her mama and ashamed of her less than Supreme past. She reminds me of the girl in 'Imitation of Life' who tries to pass herself off as white. 'Mama died while makin' home made jam' after Diana fucked off and had a son without telling her. Bitch. But this song has just got this classic Motown melody with Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong trying to fight it out with the occasional 'Mama, Mama, Mama can you hear me?' in the background. Supreme track.

2. Lynne Hamilton - 'On The Inside' : A fabulously campy track that was used as the theme tune for 'Prisoner - Cell Block H' What makes this song so memorable is that it played whilst the guard for the show locked up the prison. Lynne talks about 'He used to give me roses' well it probably turned out that 'He' was shot by Bea Smith in a violent rampage after another escape from Wentworth Detention Centre... It's memories of watching the show on a Sunday night with a piece and jam and cup of tea with my nana at 11pm to find out who was top dog and how Bea and Lizzie were going to cope without Doreen and just how much denim Bea was going to press in the laundry that make this song so lovely.

3. Kylie Minogue - 'Crying Game Medley' : Sweet mother of God this is divine. Kylie did this medley during her 2002 Fever Tour and was fab. She appeared in a gorgeous black laced up dress from Dolce & Gabbana and started singing Boy George's The Crying Game. This then melted into Massive Attack's Teardrops with the lyrics of Kylie's Put Yourself In My Place. She then walked down the stairs and sang a part of her long forgotten classic Finer Feelings with a sneaky bit of Dangerous Game. It finished with her returning to The Crying Game, being surrounded by a round platform that dropped red rose petals around her. Too fabulous for words, it has to be heard and seen to be appreciated.

4. Madonna - 'Nothing Really Matters' : Definitely my favourite Madge track in recent times. I love the whole shebang, from start to end. The quirky intro, the beat gets me moving and it's such a fab track all round. It;s also a great song to have sex to. The whole Ray Of Light album is, not for making love but good screwing sex! It also helps in this MTV generation that the video was fab with Madge and her dancers being samurais and all Japanesey and she had the bushiest eyebrows this side of Joan Crawford in Queen Bee.

5. Alcazar - 'Menage A Trois' : The campiest track ever!! The Swedes go all French in this Euro camp extravaganza. They hired in a 4th member who was the main singer's ex boyfriend no less and they produced a fab track that has the girls moaning in ecstasy 'Respondez s'il vous plaiz' Dirty bitches. I love it, it also helps that the main singer Andreas is none too shabby on the eyes.