WEARING A BACKLESS DRESS

I got back from New York yesterday after possibly the worst flight of my life. I had the shivers and felt hellish - I still do but some Beechams has helped and am now able to blog a bit!! New York was unbelievable, overwhelming, exciting and truly one of the best experiences of my life!! We went to Splash bar on the Saturday we arrived and I was initiated into the ways of the toilets! On the Sunday night, we went to Therapy which had an awful drag queen screeching through some jazz standards. This was bollocks so we traipsed to Chelsea and Barracuda which we thought would be more fun as it was hosting the Miss Americuda 1973 Contest with Carson Kressley being a celebrity judge with some other fag bangles. It was shite. Then we dashed to Rambles at Park which was amazing and the patio was stacked with cute boys. Much shopping in the next few days and also popping to the David Letterman Show with Lisa Marie Presley as his guest and literally bumping into JC Chasez from NSync in the middle of Macys, we headed to the Lower East Side. We ended up at the diviest and sleaziest bar I've ever encountered - The Cock. It was beyond rough, leather straps cover the cubicle door rather than having an actual door. I vaguely remember heading into the toilet with a guy who was enraptured with my uncut cock. We left cos one of us said we should go and when I got out I said "Why are we leaving? I was having a fab time" so back in we went and within a minute or two I gave a guy a bit of a look and the next thing I knew I was in deepest, darkest Tribeca, completely smashed on Bolivian marching powder with a total stranger called Matt who was making my cunt wet!

So then his mate Stefan turned up and we ended up rolling dirty dice that says things like 'lick' 'tease' 'ass' and 'cock'. I wasn't really up for Stefan so he got sent packing back to his gallery on 57th Street whilst the guy, Matt rimmed my ass like he licked stamps for a living. I was in absolute ecstasy as I was literally ragdolled all over his rather fabulous apartment, I have the cuts and bruises on my body to prove it!! Then he gave me possibly the plowing of my life. He said to bite the pillow, I thought I would have to chew the mattress it was that fucking intense and fabulous. I couldn't help but wonder that my friend Stewart would be so proud of me!! He's a sleazy pig. I left Matt's place with a kiss and a 'Ciao' and also without my knickers. I sat on the underground in a slight panic that the lube that was dripping out my hole was going to show through my fabulous new jeans.

David, Cameron and Jon had their fair share of exploits aswell, David for instance met a hooker called Denise outside Splash on Monday so went back in with her, Denise then produced a brown bag with a bottle of booze and later David and her wandered the streets like two drunks smoking fags. He then took her for a tour around Times Square. Denise was apparently delighted as she hadn't been up past 25th Street and thought this was a bit of a holiday.

We also visited Ground Zero which was one of the most morbid and eerie experiences - the last time I was in New York in 1997, my folks and I were in the World Trade Centre and marvelled at it's height and the shopping centre. To return and see the site with only one piece of steel gridding in this massive chasm was humbling and made all of us more than a little bit emotional. I had goosebumps. I'm not normally a political or issue led person but that visit brought a lot home with regard to the amount of evil in the world today.

I also had the great fortune to go to Faggot Feud at XL. A guy who looked a bit like Boy George did in 1987 when he was hooked on heroin was hosting with drag queen/transsexual/nut case Amanda LePore.The guy was funny by taking the piss out of the drunk contestants, he introduced one of the cocktail waiters to the crowd as his good friend who was into Scat. He then was asking the contestants if they were top, bottom or what? One of the guys said 'what' to which the host laughed and just shouted 'You're so Piggy!' Classic. Apparently co host Miss Amanda is well known on the gay scene in NYC and she was hilarious. Faggot Feud is a gay version of Family Fortunes for those of you in the UK or Family Feud in the US. Amanda got her baps out a bit and when asked certain things here are her answers.

Q - Amanda what substance is cum like?
A - Pudding

Q - Amanda, what's barebacking?
A - Wearing a backless dress

New York was an unforgettable experience in more ways than one and I can't wait to get back next year and experience even more that this magical place has to offer. I was supposed to meet Jon aka Fash Mag Slag but due to me being pummelled royally and being dazed about it for a day or two was unable to so it's something I'll have to do when I get back along with pulling some of those hot NYC guys!