COME ON HEAD-DRESS, DON'T LET ME DOWN

'Come on head-dress, don't let me down' were the immortal words, uttered by the 13th housemate to enter the Big Brother house this year. My one hour love in with Celebrity Love Island passed quickly as they don't do anything. Big Brother started last night and I caught some of it before heading out and then watched the repeat slightly worse for wear this morning. The housemate in question is Kemal, he's a gay Muslim who's unsure whether or not Muslim is for him and he's contemplatin Buddhism. He decided that red was his colour for entering the house and that a sari was his weapon of design. He appeared looking like a dodgy fortune teller from Blackpool's promenade but snaps for originality. He swept up the stairs to the entrance and as the door closed he spoke to himself. "Fabulous" he commented as he admired himself in the mirror and then grabbing the train of his red sari creation he said "Come on head-dress, don't let me down..... Stay with me bitch"

He then entered the house with head held high and introduced himself as Kemal and shrieked at all the women calling them 'Diva! You are Fabulous" I think that word may be overused a bit this year in the show.


KEMAL THE QUEEN

Another houemate who's in my opinion a bit too big for his boots is Craig.


CRAIG THE CUNT

He's a bitchy 20 year old who runs his own hairdressing salon which apparently is a huge achievement and he enjoys 'destroying other people's lives'. Now call me daft but he's giving us homos a bad name. I can be as nasty as the next person and not like people and be vocal about it. I like to think I've got a certain je ne sais quoi whereas this guy was just sounding like a wanker - desperate for attention and attaining a certain notoriety for being a tough cunt. Well it's just not cricket and I only hope that Kemal puts him firmly in his mulleted place or chav Lesley who is clearly Vicky Pollard's long lost sister cracks the whip with Cuntish Craig and slaps the shit out of him. Lesley is soooo like Vicky Pollard that she even mentioned that girls giver her 'evils' - Chavtastic!

Add in a White Witch, a finalist for Mr Italy and a 70s tribute dancer who is the only cheeky looking one and all in all looks like it's going to be an interesting year in Big Brother where I'll be hopelessly addicted to it again.