SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK

I've been ploughing my way through the latest Harry Potter novel. It's a great read and almost as good as the last one which I devoured in a weekend, i'm taking this one a bit slower and savouring each chapter. I also started Janice Dickinson's autobiography which is just as riveting a read, she's got a foul mouth and loads of attitude and looks like a drag queen, if it wasn't for the fact she's a mother, I would think she was a drag queen. Her story is both heartwarming and shocking and everything in between and that's only in the first chapter!

Now you'd think with all that reading I'd have no time to go out - well i did - on Friday and got a tad tipsy. Jon and Cam and myself danced away and had a long chat about our friendships and how we all interact. It's what makes us all different and friends, even if we do disagree on things. I am sooooo excited about Gran Canaria - we're all heading over in November for at least a week of fun in the sun and the darkrooms and nightclubs and leather bars and harnesses and bathtubs and the occasional toilet rendezvous. The only thing I hate is that everyone is going away just now whilst I'm stuck in Glasgow working like a hooker on a street corner, selling my wares to any passerby. Still, it means in November when it's raining here I'll be enjoying the sunrays and reading a Jackie Collins by the pool and sipping a lager shandy with possibly a straw hat on to keep the sun out of my pallid face.

As I'm writing this I've got engrossed again in Melrose Place - I'm watching season 5 where Lisa Rinna and Rob Estes turn up and piss off Heather Locklear's character Amanda no end. Jane Mancini has gone off the deep end big style and has hunted down her mother played by Donna Mills. Donna is a dumpy character in Melrose who knocks back the booze and looks like she's got a bad weave in although she does have HUGE eyeballs and a form fitting wardrobe. However as we all know, Melrose Place is Amanda Woodward's show and she cracks the whip with all and sundry - she warns Kyle, "Go to hell. And give my regards to your wife when you get there." Amanda double crosses the staff to keep her presidency at D & D Advertising and will stop at nothing to stay on top, that includes getting on top with the tasty Craig Field. She's just had a fight with her husband who has pissed her off. He asked her 'How does it feel Amanda?" She blithely replied "It feels dead Peter. Like you killed it." She slammed down the phone and headed downstairs with all the pace and rage she could muster before pinning Craig against a wall, tearing each other's clothes off with reckless abandon and animal instinct moaning "Shut up and get to work"

I love her.