JUST LIKE OLD TIMES

Last night Jon, Stewart, David and myself headed out for a night on the town. Stewart's hairdresser pal Dean had shaved my head and straightened Stewart's hair and we all had some drinks and proceeded to get a bit leathered. There are three gay nightclubs in Glasgow and here's a brief overview.

BENNETS - The oldest and probably best known. It has a few floors, one being campy music and the other hardcore Jackie music. We used to go there a few times a week and at the time thought it was great. We'd go to Polo Lounge for a while and then head to Bunty's to finish the night. It's full of straight girls and drug fucks and crazy queens just bursting out of the closet.

POLO LOUNGE - The usual drill for the moment. Massive club with old leather sofas that probably have been sprayed with more cum than on a porno set. It could actually be a porno set. Large nightclub downstairs and a mix of gay men from 18 - 60.

CLUB DEVOTION - Mental, mad and full of people off their face - kind of like wannabe club kids except with worse skin complexions and awfully vile attitudes. Used to be called Penelope's and had carpets, chrome and smelled of sick.

There are other various nights to go out like the Tunnel on Wednesday's which is a massive gay night and Burly at the Arches for the rough trade.

So we all used to go to Bennets but stopped a few years ago and are now regulars at Polo Lounge, last night, we went back to Bennets and like Abby said in the final episode of Knots Landing - it was just like old times. Now the club burned down nearly 2 years ago but when I ventured in last night, it looked exactly the same which was rather freaky. I also bumped into a few old friends still trying to wring out a good night in a bad club. We had gone to see semi pop star Lisa Scott-Lee who was doing a PA (She mimed) The guy at the cashdesk said it was packed although it turned out to be a total lie, there was plenty of room to move and take in the surroundings and when we went to hardcore Jackie floor, it was pretty quiet. Heading back upstairs we looked around rather bemused when all of a sudden a fight kicked off and these two gay guys kicked the living shit out of 4 or 5 lesbians. Now I'm not one for violence but nothing beats a good catfight. The strange thing was that no bouncers or stewards were around for at least a few minutes and one of the girls that jumped in to stop the fight goot a right hook from one of the guys and was kicked to the floor! it was all terribly dramatic and it goes to show that lesbians aren't as tough as they look. The guys weren't exactly Muscle Marys but they tore those muff divers apart. That was when it was time to depart - perhaps never to return but at least I left on an eventful night where men were men, women were bashed and I was drunk.