REPORTAGE ALA WEEKEND

I've had a bit of a wild weekend - again. I've got a week of work left before flying to Gran Canaria on holidays, the timing is sublime as the weather here has changed dramatically over the past 2 or 3 weeks and it's hellish beyond hellish with rain and wind almost every day, I think the warm climate of Gran Canaria will be more to my palate and perk me up! I've got some books picked out to read for the 9 days - I read shitloads on holiday and always manage to get through a few page turners.

Had a works night in on Friday night - it was a quiz night and I have to say my team excelled and when it came to a tie breaker, someone from my team and an opposing team had to strut along the tables doing their best catwalk. Now I shirked away from the responsibilty because to be honest, I didn't want all the girls feeling inadequate because I can strut like Naomi and Christy combined! So the straightest guy in work did a strut for the opposing team - he's kinda hot and we do have rather open chats about gay sex - he's curious but he's so straight that gay sex is rather non-chalant. So walked along, jumped off, grabbed me and threw me onto the table and proceeded to ride me like a Kentucky Derby. My legs were here, there and everywhere with his rather filling bulge banging against me - I was gutted we were fully clothed. I took the opportunity to use my limbered legs and throw myself onto all fours and feel that bulge again. The whole workplace was in hysterical uproar and I took it in good jest, especially because the guy was soooo hot. Then the girl from my team proceeded to give me a bit of a lapdance and shoved her ample chest in my face - that freaked me out more and I was worried that I could suffocate - death by tit covering is a fear of mine but thankfully the ordeal was over and I could relax more. Funnily enough, my team won although I'd sooner the straight guy's team won - if only so I could feel some more of his hot package banging me again but that's probably wishful thinking!

Then last night, Jon's old pal and London tramp, Rod, came out for a night out in Glasgow. He was at a wedding and it was the ideal situation for a knees-up. He's mad as a box of hair and withing minutes of hitting the dancefloor, he was busting moves in his S&M makeshift gun holster/harness which attracted some attention from some rather forward Glasgow queens. Rod's a pliable sorta boy and shook his shammy so we proceeded to get him shitfaced. He's a top guy and we have a similar sense of humour so get on quite well. It's also a fab excuse to head down to London for some hedonistic times in some filthy clubs with dirty Cockneys.

Stewart's also heading to Gran Canaria so that's me Jon, Stewart and David. There are some other guys we know who will be there at the same time so it should be a funfilled trip. I only hope my liver will cope, I've been feeling slightly more sociable recently and enjoying meeting new people. Hence the trip the other week to Alan and Stuart's for a night in. They're a fun bunch and Alan has been a great sounding board - Alan and Stuart are also friends with Russell, this sneaky slut has written a blog aswell and he's camp as tits with his tongue but likes his men big and butch. I read pasrt of his blog and he's always either in a relationship, out of a relationship or looking for one. He's the eternal optimist with an unhealthy fascination of Jane Wyman. Then there's John not Jon, he does a quiz night in the pub and hosts a karaoke night. He has a poisonous tongue when on stage but a real diamond when chatting, especially when it comes to Bette Davis - we try and out do each other with quotable quotes of our favourite diva and could chat endlessly about her most enigmatic roles. It's almost too gay to function but I love that someone gets my fascination with old movie stars. He's also full of advice on where to go in Gran Canaria and a well travelled guy. I feel that I should do a cast list of the people in my life as a lot of blogs have that so readers don't get confused, but my problem is that I wouldn't know what to say about all these mad bitches.