Jill Tyrell finds out her husband's been diagnosed with cancer and immediately signs up to a dating agency and tries her damndest to snag her new neighbour Don from the clutches of his needy MS ridden wife Cath. Now this shouldn't be comedy or an episode of Trisha and it's neither but it's cringetastic and wildly funny.
Jill also runs a beauty salon and has an odd gothic junior called Linda or as Jill calls her 'Linnduuurrr' Linnduuurrr will do anything for Jill and add in the local vicar who ends up eating poisoned Angel Delight and a slightly psychotic simpleton called Glenn who looks like Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons and the motley crew of Nighty Night is complete.
Jill is completely deluded and tells everyone that her husband has died from the cancer whereas he is actually recovering - she even holds a funeral for him and uses butchers meat to show all that's left of him! She throws herself onto Cath's car feigning suicide and dresses up as an old flame of Don's just to antagonise poor Cath.
Not to spoil the sick surprise but Jill tries everything to attract Don who gets increasingly annoyed by his wife Cath - Jill somehow manages to move in with the couple and attempts seduction of their teenage son - it's high octane stuff but riveting to watch - if anyone like's their comedy as black as night then this is your bag.... The funny thing is, I actually root for Jill as Cath and Don and Sue are just cardboard canapes compared to the incredulous wild rock chick that is Jill Tyrell.
Some classic lines from just the first few episodes :-
DATING AGENT - Now you're quite a tall lady Jill
JILL - Thank you
DATING AGENT - What'd you say the lowest height's gonna be?
JILL - 6 foot.
DATING AGENT - And premium limit at the top end Jill if you don't mind...
JILL - Well I don't want anyone who could find work in a circus.
DATING AGENT - What about personality?
JILL - I don't mind if he has one or not.
Linnddduuuur is having an asthma attack beside Jill
JILL - Linnddduur you know my feelings about asthma - take a deep breath and get over it.
Jill gives Terry childrens pyjamas as he goes in hospital to deal with his cancer
TERRY - They're very small Jill
JILL - Doctor Wivel says you will be very small - towards the end..
Jill meets Glenn from the dating agency
GLENN - Four years since I've been registered..
JILL - Disabled?!
Jill quizzes Terry on his one night stand 15 years before
JILL - Did she take it up the rear? Cos given the opportunity I will take it up the rear til I am blue in the face.
Jill's dog tries to hump Cath
CATH - I just had a rather uncomfortable experience with a German Shepherd when I was 9. He was very persistent.
JILL - Were you wearing a skirt?
CATH - Well yes, a party dress
JILL - So you can't lead them on and then cry rape Cath!
Jill sees Cath wheeling herself up toward her.
JILL - Come on Cath! Come on Catherine Wheels!
CATH - Ever since we came here there so many glamorous women
JILL - Oh, I know - I'm sorry - I do try to dress down.
CATH - There's Gina at the surgery..
JILL - Gina?! What the dwarf with the styed eye?
CATH - She's Japanese, Jill
Jill discusses breast reduction for Sue
SUE - That kinda's what God's given me
JILL - And god can take it away soon. God could come down tomorrow morning and take those off you in one fell swoop!
SUE - I'm sure God like's breasts
JILL - I'm sure he does Sue, but Satan likes them even more. As a christian Sue, you cannot be a vessel for Satan's pointing fingers.
SUE - I think everyone's rather tired Jill
JILL - You do look quite rough Sue - but then that chest must be exhausting.
Jill plants crotchless panties in Don's pocket which Cath found
CATH - Walking around with another woman's split pants in his pocket, I mean what sort of woman wears things like that?
JILL - I would say... Quite a sexy lady - who clearly likes to feel the wind beneath her wings.
JILL - God, he's really messed with your head Cathy. It's those bloody doctors - Shipan, Crippens, Fred West
CATH - He was a builder Jill
JILL - Do you call what he did to those women building Cath?!
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