HAZE OF LONG ISLAND

Well the past week or so has been a bit odd. I went out on Friday night as I made a deal with myself in one of those odd conversations in my head when I'm doing the washing that I should be more sociable and not be the first person to leave a party and so it came to pass that last Friday, David and I headed to a real spit n sawdust affair at a guy we know's leaving do. He's off to the bright lights of Manchester where the chances are, he'll get in a rut or a crack den and never be seen again. So we went to the pub where every rough diamond with citrus scrunchies and spiral perms were. Stewart's been seeing a guy who I was introduced to and his rather spunky friend up from Brighton. We vacated rather sharply and headed to Polo for a shake of the shammy and drinks although I was working on Saturday morning. Me and the Brighton boy got slightly up close and personal but I left the club when I realised I could turn into a pumpkin if I stayed out any later and the whole opportunity to get laid by a sexy guy was freaking me out a bit.

I was kicking myself when working the next night when Brighton boy was asking if I was coming out to play with him when I served him behind the bar. I noticed him 'playing' with one of the local bikes so thought it best to rise above it but I can't say I wasn't disappointed as he was hot. He was a bit of a high flyer, early 30s, ok body, nice London boy accent and slightly fabulous skin. He liked his booze and seemed fun if a tad sleazy which is always a positive quality - the type of guy on paper that I totally lust after but it wasn't to be last weekend. After work I continued my crusade at being a social butterfly by heading to a party where I got a bit tipsy and almost rivalled David with my chirpiness. David is brilliant at chatting away to people whereas I am definitely more reserved but the party was quite good fun until the Cop Shop turned up as Lulu was playing rather vigorously. Stewart's beau was hosting and was an absolute sweetheart - he's got a cracker there and the fact his friend's rather hot helps aswell.

Missing out on the Brighton boy's dick in my mouth hot me harder on Sunday when I did some soul searching. Cameron came round and we had a deep and meaningful chat for hours as my emotional retardation was getting me down and not in a valium sort of way. To lighten the mood we watched Lady Bunny's DVD and realised that if any opportunity for romance comes my way I shouldn't pass it up as it's getting to the stage that I don't let myself get into any type of situation with men other than some dirty sex. I don't think I want a boyfriend but sometimes I do - it's all terribly self indulgent but the fear of rejection freaks me out so it's something I have to deal with.

Monday was back at work and it was a tad mental so decided the best thing to do was to be sociable so hooked up with Stewart and we went for cocktails and drinks for a few hours and it was fabulous, Stewart's an old friend and I value his sort of warped views as it's so refreshing and the fact that he's quite funny makes all the difference. His beau de jour joined us and had a few drinks aswell and we got chatting before I headed home in a daze of Long Island Iced Teas and Donna Summer belting out on my iPod. Since then I've been working like a trojan and getting hyper hyper for Paris next weekend although I'm thinking a weekend in London and possibly Brighton for my birthday in May would be peachy. If the men are anything like the guy I met last week then it's fun fun fun for everyone - especially with me new motto that I saw in a porno recently "Never waste a hard dick"