SAUNA SAUCE

Today I've had a feast of Bette Davis as my new DVD Collection arrived! The set includes

Jezebel - Bette is Southern Belle Julie Marsden set against the yellow fever epidemic with her love for Henry Fonda coming under threat

The Man Who Came To Dinner - A comedy where Bette has a supporting role as a secretary but gets top billing when an author causes havoc after breaking his leg.

Marked Woman - Bette plays a hooker under fire from the Mob. Based on Lucky Luciano's ex lover - it was Bette's first movie for Warners after a legal battle.

Old Acquaintance - Bette and Miriam Hopkins play authors who are best of friends but end up arch rivals - similar to their real life. Bette hated Miriam with a passion.

Whatever Happened To Baby Jane? - The mother lode of all camp. Bette teams with long time nemesis, Joan Crawford in the macabre thriller - Fantastic performance from both

There's also a 90 minute documentary chronicling Bette's life - Stardust has interviews with Vincent Sherman, Jane Fonda, her son Michael Merrill and many others. It's fab to see a real indepth show with lots of Bette clips and interviews.

On top of that today, I ventured to the sauna - I won't go into it too much but Glasgow men really need to learn to douche properly. Twice today I had a problem but it wasn't as bad as the guy who completely shat on me. Maybe I bang too hard! I was a complete whore and met another guy who had the biggest dick I think I've ever had the fortune to suck, I had both hands round it and still had plenty of room for manouevure, I had to make it clear that there weren't many orifices that that bad boy would be going in!

I also think that the Pakistani shopkeeper round the corner is gay - he has a bad haircut but winks at me on a regular basis and last week mentioned that I looked like I had a tan (I hadn't been sunbathing at all) This would all be well and good but I've never had even the smallest of discounts or free stuff from his shop. On top of that, I'm also concerned about the people who work in the Chinese takeaway aswell. They have a son and daughter who are still teenagers and they're always in the shop every night. How do they get any studying done if they're surrounded by soy sauce?