Sunday, October 01, 2006

CATCHING A LEPRECHAUN

I went to the sauna on a wee day off last week - it was semi busy but fun none the less. I saw one guy who was precariously taking a whiff of poppers in the jacuzzi. This had two perils, one that the poppers would spill into the jacuzzi - and then that the guy's back end would collapse and take in more jacuzzi water than possibly imaginable! I ventured into the steamroom to sweat some of the alcohol out of me and encountered a guy who just wouldn't stop talking. He had quite a fit body and was a bit of a wanker as the chat was incessant (I'm a great believer that sauna chat is kept to a minimum)

I left the steam room and he followed me into a darkroom. He then said "You wanting a gobble?" which actually sounded with his broad Glasgow twang "Yoo waaaantin a gobble" How could I resist and happily relaxed to a few hours with him. I did find a few ways to shut him up!!

Another thing that I've found amazing is the amount of gay guys who still bareback. I was chatting to some guys online who love it - whatever happened to AIDS awareness?! Most people find it acceptable to bareback if they're in a relationship but a lot fo the guys I was talking to just can't get it up without it being bare - is it a case in a Carrie Bradshaw way that Who Bares Wins?! I'm not so sure! Like Amanda Lepore, I thought barebacking was wearing a backless dress.

Headed to the 500 club in Glasgow's westend on Friday for some drinks and one guy told me the strangest story I'd heard in a longtime. A friend of his had been on a night on the tiles and been a bit smashed on booze and pills of some sort and left a party to head home. The next day, he wasn't answering his phone so a few mates headed round to his flat and found his front door ajar. They walked in to find the guy sitting on the couch in a daze with scratches on his face and his clothes ripped. The concerned friends asked what had happened and they got the reply "I caught a leprechaun" They laughed the statement off but soon heard banging from the room next door and went in to investigate and opened a cupboard to find a dwarf man kicking the door to get out. It turns out the guy had literally picked up a dwarf in the street at night and forcibly dragged him back to the flat as he wanted to "catch a leprechaun" I found the story a bit farfetched but the dwarf pressed charges and the guy was arrested for kidnapping apparently!

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