SHOWGIRLS
This is just fabulous - it's been called "The Greatest Movie Ever Made" and I tend to almost agree. This film stand the test of time in ways I never thought imaginable. Now the thing with Showgirls is that you can't EVER take it seriously. It's a drama of course but it's camper rather a weekend of showtunes on iTunes. It's classic camp in that every person involved in the film from the crew to the cast make the wrong decision about everything at every possible turn. If there was a bad way to make a great movie then Showgirls is the proof. There is one exception, Gina Gershon who is definitely in on the joke.
It was dubbed sexy and erotic and risque but there is absolutely nothing sexual about this film at all. Just spend 2 hours watching the dvd and then spend the next 2 hours watching it again with the hilarious commentary from a Showgirls afficiando who knows all kind of useless shit about this film. Showgirls deals with Nomi Malone - played by Elizabeth Berkeley who was the geeky Jessie in Saved By The Bell. That was part of the shock when this film came out - the commentator likens it to Joanie from Happy Days doing Basic Instinct. It shouldn't happen - but it works a treat.
So Nomi hitches a ride to Vegas to dance and gets her bag stolen, has a catfight, nearly gets run over and vomits after the catfight all within the first 6 minutes. Now if that's not the Greatest Movie ever made then I don't know what is.......
Nomi is ambitious but only has a few emotions, she smiles, talks about nails and kicks things a lot when she doesn't get her own way. She dances at The Cheetah which is as slutty as you can get in Vegas but she's destined for better things. Her trailer park caravanmate Molly works at The Stardust and Nomi goes with her and is mesmerised by the dancing and the exotic Cristal Connors in "Goddess". Nomi watches the show and you just know by her hand actions (that are almost as concerning as Diana's hand actions in this years X Factor) that she's going to be in the show. She backstabs and fucks her way into the show by seducing Kyle McLachlan with the most tragic hairdo this side of 1980. So I'm digressing but Nomi goes on to play Eve Harrington and chips Cristal down the stairs after their faux lesbian bondage scene and takes over at the Stardust as Janet Jackson and Paula Abdul are too expensive. This is hilarious in itself as Janet Jackson would never get her tits out - would she?? And Paula Abdul could barely raise her head let alone a nipple on the Vegas stage. So Nomi takes over but then Molly, remember her? She gets raped, Nomi's past comes out and she disappears out of Vegas hitching a lift with the same guy who drove her to Vegas. Those are 2 hours and in fact about 20 hours in total as I've seen this a fair few times that I'm never going to get back and thank God because they were just heavenly.
Gina Gershon is Cristal camps it up big style throughout and has the most bizarre scene in Spago when her and Nomi talk about doggie chow - I thought there was a point to the scene but there wasn't. She loves getting her nails painted because that's a sign that she wants you and she calls everyone "Darlin" In fact I swear she just stepped out of Southfork and iced up her nipples.
Kyle Mclachlan has tragic hair and is involved in 2 sex scenes when the commentator made the perfect observation. Nomi writhes about Kyle's crotch but it doesn't make you want to have sex - he cried "Somebody get her some insulin!" as she took a fit in Kyle's swimming pool with the neon palm trees (see you have all seen it and wanted a pool with neon palm trees too!)
But this is Nomi's show from start to finish - she switches off the radio with her flick knife at the start of the movie, she ices up her titties, she gets her period at least twice in the movie and it's part of her reasoning for not stripping and not having sex. She causes a fight and goes shopping in Versayce rather than Versace. Elizabeth Berkeley has only a few emotions, her training in Saved By The Bell didn't plan for having fits during lapdancing and saying "Fuck a lot" and painting her nails so much. This is what makes her so watchable - it's horrendous. Her time in the strip club is just fabulous when she goes raunchy lesbo which is about as sexy as buying a flatpack table from Ikea.
I urge everyone to watch this movie and get steamed in - Nomi and the rest of the cast are just awful - it's high camp and now Showgirls is in one of MGM's top 20 money earners ever after huge sales of video and dvd. Let's get it into the top 10 and a place that it deserves like in my countdown. I've added some bon mots and trivia for this fabulous movie. No person would ever utter any of these words unless it's quoting the movie or unless they were being held hostage by Showgirls terrorists - it's just so unrealistic and yet so funny.....
Annie: They're going to see a smiling snatch if you don't fix this g-string!
Henrietta: Do you know what they call that useless piece of skin around a twat?
Crowd: What?
Henrietta: A WOMAN!
Nomi: You can't touch me, but I can touch you. I'd really love to touch you.
James: You fuck 'em without fucking them! That's what you do. Well, it ain't right!
Marty: She's no butterfly, Tony. She's all pelvic thrust. I mean, she prowls She's got it
Cristal: You are a whore, darlin'!
Henrietta: She looks better than a ten-inch dick and you know it!
Al: It must be weird, not having anybody cum on you
Nomi: I liked it when you came. I liked your eyes
Cristal: You like my nails? Not as nice as yours.
Nomi: Maybe I could help you with yours... If you like.
Cristal: Why you'd do that for me?
Nomi: What are friends for?
Cristal: On second thought... I'm not so sure I want you to be doin' mine. I'm getting a little too old for that 'whorey' look
Nomi: I got my period.
James: Yeah right.
Nomi: Check (she then sticks his hand in her knickknacks - the dirty bitch)
Reporter: Ms Malone how did you feel about the show tonight?
Nomi: I just hope that I can be as good as the show
Karlman: We could have brought anyone into this show: Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul. Nomi Malone is what Las Vegas is all about! She's dazzling, she's exciting, and very, very sexy
Henrietta: She misses us like that lump on my twat I had taken off last week.
TRIVIA
- When the film was nominated for the most Razzies - Paul Verhoeven the directr actually picked his award up for Worst Film and Worst Director - the first ever to do so.
- Joe Esterhaz was given $2 million dollars for those lines above.
- Charlize Theron auditioned for the role of Nomi
- VH1 show the movie, minus the boobs, they computer generated bras and knickers on all the strippers so no skin was shown
- Elizabeth Berkeley is topless for 20 minutes of the film.
- Is the highest grossing NC17 rated movie of all time in America.
3 comments:
OH GOD YES.
It's kinda strange - Verhoeven did Robocop (bleh), and Basic Instinct (yay!), and Showgirls... he's very hit-and-miss but still totally memorable.
Saw it at the flicks years ago and liked its trashiness, though not as good as Verhoeven's other efforts like Basic Instinct, in my view...one problem was I think the character of Naomi was so unsympathetic. Loved the bit with Kyle M shagging her in the pool though. Lovely arse.
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