SLUT OF ALL TIME

Well possibly not as much as Liz Taylor said she was in the trashy Butterfield 8. Can you believe she won the Oscar for THAT performance?!! But I digress, since turning 30 I have possibly been the sluttiest I've been in years. It has to stop if only so I can catch my cummy breath.

It got so bad on Friday night that I actually got a guy round that I'd never even met. We chatted briefly online and I saw a pic (the more I type, the worse it sounds) he said he was in to chat but within 15 mins he had my address and was on his way over. I looked at the pic and thought he would do a turn. I called my friend and asked him to call me back in half an hour, if I didn't answer then the guy was clearly a serial killer and had sliced and diced me and he was to come round and see the carnage.

Anyway I freshened my frou frou and sure enough twenty minutes later, the buzzer went and I was pleasantly surprised to see a guy who was way hotter than the guy in the pic. It was the same guy but the pic did him no justice. He barely got in the flat before I was kissing him and things got very whorey for a while. I basically threw him about like a wet trackie for a few hours and sent him packing. I must say I was disappointed that he didn't have a hot bod. It was tight but nothing to shout about. He was an excellent kisser which made up for it and also for a hot guy I met being a bad kisser last week. Then there was the guy who wanted me to shove some chocolate up hom and let it melt out and eat it. The same guy said that he had been arranging to meet a guy and get a condom filled with spunk and do unimaginable things with it.

There have been other incidents shall we say in the past few weeks with partying a lot being slutty that have been occurring. I am off to New York in a few weeks so will keep my whoring ways in check til I end up at The Cock or something and end up doing more than sticking a dollar note down a gogo boys thong!

In other news, not only am I off to New York in just over a week but will be heading back over there in October to see Miss Kylie Minogue!!! Jon organised the tickets so another wee jaunt has been organised!

And finally - today is the 5th anniversary of my blog! Yes, I've been talking shite (mainly to myself) for 5 whole years. I could do a big retrospective but I really don't want to - I'm still getting over seeing Steffi Graf back on court with her husband Andre Agassi this afternoon as Wimbeledon celebrated it's new roof on Centre Court. She's still the best tennis player in the world. Full stop from the slut!