HEATHER BE THY NAME

 

.....And God created Heather! Yes I'm feeling much better after the escapades of the past few days which have been fraught with Sunset Beach style nonsense. Jon has been banging this guy for a few years, the guy now has a lover of his own, only he took Jon back to his on Wednesday night, the new boyfriend was not amused - so my buzzer went at 5am with Jon and (lets call him Pedro) and Pedro looking for room at the inn! I was half in the bag at the time so passed out again after they arrived. The sad thing is that apparently the boyfriend is continuing in the relationship! I love it, Jon's a homewrecker and I couldn't be prouder.

In other news, my Melrose Place DVD's arrived and although the visual quality isn't amazing on my darling widescreen TV, it's more than suffice and I'm getting reacquainted with Amanda Woodward aka Miss Heather Dean Locklear. Heather's my favourite exposed roots blonde since I got my own highlights in a few years ago (a faux pas even I admit to!) So I've got all 227 episodes of this show to watch but I dove in straight away at when Kimberly blew up the apartment complex. This was about the time that I picked up the show when we first got cable installed and ps - it's just as fabulous as ever. Almost as fabulous as Dynasty for one liners, Amanda Woodward (our Heather) had the best zingers and the shortest skirts. which is why she's behind Alexis in my Top 5 TV Bitches. More on Melrose later!

Went to the hygienist today - it was her 50th birthday but she couldn't have been too happy because she tore my teeth apart - I wanted to tear her a new asshole. Bleeding Gums are not the way forward as I tried to explain but she kept on picking and scraping. After the ordeal I was going to wish her happy birthday but after the state of shock my mouth has been left in she frankly didn't deserve a happy anything!

After the torture, went into town to gym and bought a new pair of knickers, was leaving when a guy came up to me and mentioned that I had kissed him last week and was I going out tonight?!! I was a bit stumped because I don't remember snogging him although anything's possible after I drank enough vodka to keep Russia in financial security for a year! Anyway - I'm off out tonight, Friday nights are so much more fun than Saturdays these days. Probably because all the Bennets skank goes out on Saturday. I wish they'd open that dive up again pronto! I only hope I don't actually meet any of the random punters I snogged last week.