JENNY, DAPHNE AND THE CHINESE COCK

Much to report from my wild weekend in Not So Sunny Blackpool. We arrived to tumbleweed passing over the promenade as it seemed like a deserted town! Had had a really relaxing week which also included me being bent over a toilet in the sauna and being given the rimming of my life and it felt soooo much better than normal which i think was to do with his stubble bristling against my crack! There was one frightening moment when I thought I was going to fart in the guy's face but I managed to clench slightly and stop from passing wind into a guy's mouth which even for me would have been a passion killer!

Well Blackpool was dead and we were staying in The Northern Star Hotel near Flamingos and behind the infamous Funny Girls. Cam, Stewart and I trawled a few gay bars and drank quickly - not just because the vodka tasted as rough as the clientele - which was sparse, just like the mixer with the vodka. We went to Flamingos and discovered we were the only ones there so decided there and then to get ripped to the titties and lined up the vodka's and Aftershock. Before we knew it, the club had gotten busy and we were shaking our shammy on the dancefloor with some unclassy Northern Birds dancing round their handbags. Now this is where my recollections get a tad hazy but I'm sure that I went to the toilet and sucked off a Chinese guy in the toilet. Now I'm pretty unsure because I was so guttered but there's also a dictinct possibillity that I tasted some Chung How Chow Mein and don't totally remember this little protein shake - whatever, I never spilled a drop from his noodles and fried rice. Stewart by this time had buggered off with a guy who had a scar and developed a habit for pouring poppers into his drink and asking us to drink it.

I came to lying down in the toilet in our B&B at 4.30 in the morning and crawled my whorish carcass into bed and passed out. Cam woke me early and we headed out to the greasy spoons aka tacky cheap grease filled cafes that Blackpool has in bountiful supply for breakfast. Stewart had headed off to a party and met us in the afternoon and we prepared for our 2nd and final night in Blackpool. First stop on Saturday night was hen party heaven at Funny Girls. Now Miss Betty Legs Diamond and DJ Zoe were out dragging up and put on a simply Fabulous show. We were loving it and Cam and Stewart (Blackpool virgins) were converted at the church of Drag and decided that Blackpool wasn't such a bad place after all. We then went to Flamingos and again proceeded to drink ourselves stupid. We met a guy from Glasgow who used to work in Moda with Cam and Stewart and we got chatting - cut to me 9 hours later finishing off a marathon sex session with the guy and still finding the enrgy to suck his cock so much it gave me a permanent cheekbone lift. (Blowjobs are the ONLY way to get that sunken face look without resorting to surgery) He was a lovely lad and I even showered with him and walked him back to his B&B. We even did that whole cuddling thing and kissing that was fine and I think I'm getting better at but it didn't last for long before my lips were wrapped round his helathy bell-end for some more precum!! He was a cute guy and lovely to talk to even if I did moan and bite my finger a lot in a cheap porn star way as I was being pleasured - it was that good!

Cameron and Stewart had gone to another party and Cam ended up with a friend of Jenny Frost - a scouse tramp who used to be in Atomic Kitten. Cam said he had small nuts and was just plain bad in bed. Stewart got wasted and consumed some Bolivian Marching Powder from a Daphne & Celeste CD (how trashy) and then apparently the Gin and Tonic's were being passed round. Cam decided that enough was enough and it was time to depart the sinking ship and head home. We all got home and on Sunday night sat to watch Mr Gay UK with special guest Jenny Frost - Imagine Cam's surprise when his lay from the night before was also there with Miss Frost on his knee giving a cheesy grin to the cameras. This rounded a bizarre but fabulous weekend filled with good sex, good booze, good company and good drag - Miss Betty Legs Diamond herself would be proud!!