RIVER NOT SO SHITTY

In Scotland we have a soap opera that defies belief. "River City" is based in Glasgow and deals with the average soapie drama of cheating, fighting, love and some of the tackiest lines and acting known to council TV. Undoubtedly the star of the show is the woman who's had a permanent stroke and pulls faces as though it were elastic. Roisin - pronounced Row(as in the boat)sheen.



She's from Northern Scotland and even I have trouble understanding her accent. She even did an appearance in Delmonicas running a Lesbian Beauty Contest. Roisin spurts out lines such as
"A'll mak a man oot a yoo RRRrraymund" and "Wit ur wee goanny cut the boady up way RRRRrraymund? Nayiil cluppers?"

There's also moany Hazel who's friend (Deek in the show) I accosted one night outside Polo and he maintained this girls hair was her all her own natural colour. Hazel is a whine of the highest order and bleats out stuff like
"Ye cannay sell the Tall Ship Eileen, ye jist cannay"



Other characters include Shellsuit Boab (I kid you not) and Scarlett Adams whose gay son was selling drugs from the ice cream van! Paul Robinson from Neighbours aka Stefan "Don't It Make You Feel Good" Dennis was rapist Marcus MacKenzie but he was stabbed by ginger cheekboned Heather. Most weekends, some of the staff can be found in Polo wanting to be noticed but always failing to do so! They also pop into my work, last week alone we had Shellsuit Boab, RRRRrrraymund, Michelle and some other new chick.

The show is ridiculously addictive and is excellent hangover viewing on a Sunday.

FYI - I did my Higher in Drama with Carmen Pierracini who plays tarty Kelly Marie Adams, she was shite then and she's almost as shite now but I must say I fucking love this show! Watch it and be hooked!