AND EVIL TAKES A HUMAN FORM IN REGINA GEORGE

Three cheers! it's the New Year. Had a pretty normal night in the Polo Lounge except it was busier than usual and I accessorised well by taking my fan that Lynsey bought me in Ibiza to parade round the sweat pit that was the nightclub.

I freely admit that if I had seen me fanning myself I would have commented about what a twat I looked however by midnight, the place was so hot and sticky that strangers were coming up to me to get some fresh air! I was also in one of my more insulting moods as I hurled cheap rage at strangers and friends alike! In that sense I don't discriminate!

Was really strange as a guy came up to me that I've spoken to a few times to say he had read my blog and loved it! He too had just been ditched via text message and was out with friends - Russell's a nice guy who clearly loves the cock almost as much as me - he went to America once after meeting a guy online to get royally banged! That's devotion to dick for you though!

Saw Carrot Cock aka the guy who text to say we were "very different" who was offering apologies. I managed to maintain my dignity in the style of Bette Davis in Dark Victory as I wished him a Happy New Year although inside I wanted to turn into Bette Davis in All About Eve and just glare at him. That's when I realised that there is a nice, sweet person in me somewhere. Don't know where but there is!

Alan from Dels was uber nice as I bumped into him a few hours later and was decidedly hammered - he gave me a big hug and some encouraging words which meant a lot - even when I was as drunk as Sue Ellen Ewing on a good day at Southfork. I can be an absolute horror which I know but I like to think of myself as a decent and loyal person who has something to offer somebody and I'm not talking about giving gobbles to all the boys!

I used to have a problem about apparently being unapproachable and I think I still do. When I go out (normally to the Polo!) we have a corner of the dancefloor that we normally stand at and shake our shammy, my old friend Mabel is forever telling me to move out the corner to meet other people. I think I stay in the corner becausee it means that if no one approaches me or I don't approach them I won't get my feelings hurt. Pathetic? Very! God! I'm being reflective today, there must have been something in the booze last night that made me feel this way! Dean from the bar staff told me last night he thinks of Jon, David, Cameron, Stewart and myself as THE PLASTICS from the film 'Mean Girls' I dread to think that I'm the dumb Karen who lusts after her first cousin. Or that I'm Gretchen Weener who's a bag of nerves. To quote the movie :-

And evil takes a human form in Regina George

Guess that's me then!

My favourite line from the movie - "Regina said I can't be a virgin because I use super jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I have a wide-set vagina and a heavy flow"

Even I couldn't come up with a line like that!