MY COUNTRY QUEENS

Billie Jo Spears is a whore. I was listening to her classic 'Blanket on the Ground' and the common misconception that all country songs were about heartbreak and men leaving is a load of bollocks. Billie Jo, the horny toad is desperate for a bit of moonlight so her and her lover can lie on a blanket and make some whooppee. Outdoor sex must be her thing. Then my other favourite country song 'I Never Promised You a Rose Garden' has Lynn Anderson telling her other half to shape up or ship out because they're going through a rough patch. She starts off rather indignantly 'I beg your pardon!' Indeed. However my favourite favourite country song is by Miss Tammy Wynette - 'Til I can Make it on my Own' This song first came to light for me when I watched the hilarious movie Sordid Lives. A black comedy about a Texas family coming to terms with the death of the matriarch who died in a motel after tripping over her lover's wooden legs. The standout character Brother boy played by Leslie Jordan the teacup poodle from Will and Grace plays Brother Boy, the family tranny who's been locked in a sanitarium for 32 years but loves his 'Country Queens'. He mimes to Tammy in full regalia with an ornage lurex catsuit and beehived wig to the rest of the nutjobs in the asylum who are mesmerized with this vision in cheap sequins.

There's a doctor in the asylum who's trying to dehomosexualize Brother Boy but only so she can get a book deal and appear on Oprah, she goes as far to take her bra off and show her probably unkempt bush to a horrified Brother Boy who is accused - YOU ARE NOT PARTICIPATING IN YOUR OWN RECOVERY! Brother Boy thinks it's a step in the right direction to arrive at his session with the shrink without putting his Tammy wig on but eventually stands up to the bullying woman and storms out to sing to his 'audience'.

More on Sordid Lives later but it did tie in nicely with Billie Jo Spears being a whore and Lynn Anderson being a moody bitch!