A DRAG OF A HOLIDAY

Well the holiday has been and gone and I feel just as jaded and bitchier than ever. It was interesting, I went with almost a premise of going to have nasty sex in darkrooms with anonymous hands, toungues and cocks devouring me but in reality I got drunk a fair bit, read a lot and slept like I was part of a scientific sleeping study.

Jon, David and I were ensconced in Homo Heights. Stewart was also sharing with us but he ended up so wasted, he disappeared a fair bit and ended up with sunstroke one night which put his gas in a peep - so to speak. David outshone all of us with his social butterfly skills, his pulling skills and his drinking skills. The boy is multi talented and dazzled other queens in Homo Heights with his diamond chat. I was far more subdued, I went really wild one night after too much vodka and orange and literally did stop traffic on the way home as I crawled along the middle of the road in a similar fashion to a snail. This was after a rather vigorous session in the darkrooms of Gran Canaria where my knees got sore and my hands and lips sticky.

My favourite bar was a typical holiday cabaret bar in the infamous Yumbo centre which is the gay centre of activity in Gran Canaria. The first time I went there, we spent most of the night in Ricky's Cabaret Bar. Hosted by a couple of drag queens the wrong side of 40 but utterly fabulous and so quick witted, Glasgow needs a couple of cunty bitchy drag queens and I'd love to fill the slot and become that person that can get away with being utterly fabulous and utterly funny at the same time as wearing six inch heels. Miss Tammy Pax who David was sure was his mother and Miss Andi Martine were brilliant hosts and cabaret stars - they did drag well and weren't at all trannyish. David foresaw his calling and is now more determined than ever to retire to Gran Canaria and start his own drag bar. I just loved the sequinned outfits!

Compared to the majority of tourists in Gran Canaria I was a perfect nun and it got me thinking that maybe I am past my slutty sell by date - at least on holiday. It's like the 3 Degrees song 'Year Of Decision' I've had my fun although I don't think I want a relationship - or maybe I do... Maybe a trip to the sauna will help! Or maybe trawling gaydar? Or maybe I just need to get a grip and see what tomorrow brings - after all tomorrow is another day!