AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL RUNWAY CATWALK PROJECT THING

Cycle 5 is trundling along and it's still one of the most addictive shows out there.
America's Next Top Model with Tyra Banks is beyond trash but I can't stop watching. They've got rid of dwarfy queen Nole Marin. He was a stylist who looked like he stepped out of an episode of Dangermouse and curses of all curses, Janice Dickenson is no more "One of the world's first supermodels" was nixed in favour of British half wit "Fashion icon, Twiggy" she presented This Morning in the UK and was so wooden she should've been called Log. Thankfully, there's eye candy in the shape of "Noted fashion photographer, Nigel Barker" and still hosted by Tyra Banks. Tyra slimmed sown for cycle 5 and her weave has gone and been replaced by rather fetching bangs.

ANTM as it's known by it's fans gives twelve girls the hope of being America's Next Top Model which probably means after winning, they get a magazine gig and are never seen again although a few of them turned up on Tyra's talk show tonight. The cats of girls normally has the following:-

The bulimic - painfully thin and the other girls worry about eating too much
The ill bitch - someone's always got an illness that seems life threatening due to the music but is probably just a cold
The ambitious one - She's determined to rule the roost and succeed at all challenges but her ambition lets her down about 3 weeks from the end
The Southern gal - Tends to be Christian and loves to pray and shit like that
The whore - She gets drunk a lot and looks like she has chlamydia
The girl from the wrong side of the tracks - Her mother probably died in the rough neighbourhoof and she was raised by nuns at a mission but still very bitter

Throw in a lesbian, some hair tantrums, and a plus size model and that's the show.
Each week they're whittled down by the judges who are so nice now compare to Janice Dickenson who was an absolute cunt and wasn't afraid to tell girls that they looked like hell or it was the worst picture she'd ever seen. Janice always seemed to overshadow Tyra so Janice had to go although in cycle 5 she comes back as one of the photographers at a shoot. Just before the end of the series, Tyra ships the models off to London, Paris, Italy or Africa for added bonus which must be a real bitch for the contestants as one is eliminated almost immediately. On top of this nonsense, the girls fight like cat and dog, conspire against each other and try their damndest to outdo each other. My favourite part was always as Tyra says, to the ones who make it through "Congratulations, you're still in the running to becoming America's Next Top Model" all the while Janice Dickenson rolls her eyes at the pathetic looking models as they'll never be as hot as her. She's kinda right.

A similar show is Project Catwalk with Elizabeth Hurley. This show has a team of wannabe designers who are given a brief each week to rustle up a killer outift and again are cut by some judges and asked to leave the catwalk. Liz Hurley looks stunning and stands and poses a lot. I'm a shallow person and can a bit of a Liz Hurley fan, she talks so well and having her back teeth removed has given her a sunken look that so many stars have had done recently. She questions the designers in a pleasant manner unlike poisonous Welsh cunt Julien McDonald. He throws crystals on any old rag and calls it couture but is to Project Catwalk what Janice Dickenson was to ANTM. The designers are all vying for a contract of some sort and work their Singer sewing machines to the ground but it's all quite fun and fabulous. The judges examine each piece that's made and only Julien moans a lot, if I was Liz, I'd smack the shit out of him and tell him I only wear Versace - just to piss him off even more. It's getting more addictive and I'd love to know who's running up Liz's outfits, they're fabulous!