Tuesday, March 13, 2007

HEATHER'S WEATHER'S BACK

There's nothing like a homegrown soapie and River City is a Scottish soapie that has every camp outrage and soap cliche possible. It has to be seen to be believed. British viewers can watch it on Sky TV and it is nothing short of wild. I'm from Glasgow and even I have trouble sometimes with the accents, I dread to think what English viewers must think and subtitles are surely compulsory?!!

Tonight my favourite character Heather, returned from a 6 month break to find her sometime lover Gerry in bed with new and evil slut Niamh pronounced Neve (as in Campbell)

Heather is utterly glamourous - she's ambitious, has good cheekbones and always got a smart word or two to dish out. Poor Heather doesn't realise that her assistant at the bar she owns, the Chinese Suzie Wu has been cooking the books. On top of that the really rough Kelly Marie found out her mother, Scarlett (you really need subtitles with her and sunglasses for her awful wardrobe) had made a pass at her new lover who just happened to be the local priest.

It is so addictive and although I wanted to write up my blog I actually couldn't take my eyes off the screen, scared that I may miss another death or fight or someone else returning from the past. The pace is quite frantic, coupled with trying to comprehend what the people are saying and also thinking that they either sound too polite or too rough that nobody I know talks like that.

If you're ever bored or hungover on a Sunday early afternoon, hit BBC Scotland on Sky and watch the omnibus, there's incest with a Spanish man and his Scottish sister who actually do live happily ever after, the gay men snog, the women slap each other about a bit, Ruth left Iona for dead the other night and priests have sex with most women they see and Gina cries a lot. It's unmissable - and don't forget Heather, the baddest gal on the block, a few years ago she was almost raped by her fiance the evil Marcus Mackenzie played by Paul Robinson himself, Stefan "Don't It Make Ya Feel Good" Dennis so she turned round and stabbed him and let her best friend take the blame - it's that kind of show.

1 comment:

Old Cheeser said...

Stefan Dennis in a Scottish soap! Who would have thought it? And then, hey presto, he pops up in "Neighbours" again.

"River City" sounds like lots of fun. Such a pity I don't have Sky so I can watch it...

Personally I think a lot of the Terrestrial TV soaps have gone down the pan. "Eastenders" lost it years back, ever since Den came back from the dead and then carked it again, and the current crop of characters are completely unmemorable and crap. "Coronation St" annoys me with that silly screeching queen Sean. Bring back the gorgeous Bruno Langley! With his kit off!!

All in all, I think we need a new and exciting soap on our TV screens and pronto!

Either that or they should start re-running "Dynasty." It's taking way too long to come out on DVD. I realise it's slightly hypocritical for me to harp on about the ridiculousness of "Eastenders" when just about every plot line in "Dynasty" stretched credibility. But it was fabulous in it's excesses, nevertheless.

Okay, Old Cheeser will now clamber down from his SOAP box. I thank you.