MAKING ALEXIS AND SAMMY JO PROUD

Last night a few of us went out for a quiet one. On Friday, Jon and David were back (David for good and Jon for the weekend) so it was the perfect excuse to get bladdered which we all did and a riotous night was had! Last night was much more subdued but fun nontheless. Now I'm not a total bitch but sometimes, it's called for and last night was one of those nights.

You know those queens that you see out who just think they're fabulous. They've got fabulous haircuts, fabulous makeup and fabulous clothes and do that "Look at ME" posing. Now I've posed in my time and yes, nightclub dancefloors have been my catwalk to shante (pronounced shauntay) and basically look like a tit with my friends. There's a queen I know who has lost weight and is part of that crew who primp and pose to within an inch of their lives. They're more plucked than Nicole Kidman. He is what Cameron calls a "switcher" one of these gays who jumps ship between groups of friends and is incredibly fickle with both his earnings and his friendships. We were outside the Polo Lounge one night at kicking out time when he approached a group of us and invited us all to his housewarming "Darlings! You HAVE to come to my housewarming next week! David smiled and said of course, the queen bounced away quite delighted with himself and David turned to us all and said "But Darling I don't know where you live!"
This guy is always out and about trying to be uber fabulous. I suppose I'm just as fake as he is as I always talk to him with air kisses and mutual growling behind each others backs but to our faces, we're just soooooo wonderfully fabbbbuuulous. It's that blah. Back to the story - he was out last night and I clocked him at the bar with some of his old friends and they strutted past. I happened to notice something familiar about him. We were all in a group, smiling and saying hello and air kissing away when he did his usual "Darling! Hi! So good to see you!" I couldn't resist "Darling!!! Isn't that the same top you had on last week?"

There followed a deathly silence as his friends made excuses and they walked away, still posing but those pegs he was using for shoulder pads had been brought down a notch or two.

Then I was talking to my good friend Scott as I was leaving, just having a chat about our tennis matches when some girl barged past us at the cloakroom and dramatically tossed her jacket down. I looked at Scott and he looked at me with bewilderment at this Tazmanian devil. I ventured to her by simply saying "Excuse me, that was very rude, we were in the middle of the conversation" She then looked at Scott and me and blurted "Well you're leaving so goodbye" Scott took the bull by the horns with "Actually, I work her so you won't be doing that again or you won't be back in" with that she quickly apologised and I in turn barged past her with my shoulderpads in!

I only hope I was able to channel an iota of Alexis Colby or Sammy Jo Carrington and make them proud of my very own bad episode of Dynasty!