TOP 25 CAMP FILMS OF ALL TIME - 11

DIE MOMMIE DIE

On paper, this is the campest movie of all time. It's a pastiche of all 40s, 50s and 60s melodramas starring female screen legends with more than a hint of Grand Guignol.

What ramps up the camp factor is the heightened acting as an homage to the style of film and the fact that the main character of Angela Arden is played by a man. The man in question is Charles Busch who wrote the original play and the screenplay. The entire cast plays to the fact that Charles is a woman and an ageing screen diva.

The reason this film isn't number one is that it isn't an original - it knows it's camp and treads that fine line rather than a Lana Turner drama which unintentionally is so heightened in mood and setting whilst wearing a Valentino original and perfectly sculpted wig.

The story surrounds Angela Arden in the late 1960s, well loved living legend who stays in Hollywood in seclusion with her bizarre family and her gigolo boyfriend. Nothing is what it seems least of the fact that Angela is played by a male. You can suspend your disbelief because Charles Busch delivers a fabulous performance and is entirely convincing as Angela - only a gay man could pull off so many looks, accents, wardrobes and bitchy lines.

Back to the story and other main players -

TONY PARKER played by Jason Priestley from Beverly Hills 90210. He is Angela's companion and lover. He ingratiates himself with the family and asks all sorts of awkward questions surrounding Angela's past and her sister Barbara's death.

SOL SUSSMAN - Movie producer and all round crank. Played by Phillip Baker Hall. Angela's husband who uncovers her affair with Tony but meets the most bizarre ending.

EDITH SUSSMAN - Angela's daughter played by Natasha Lyonne. She also appeared in Will & Grace as Grace's assistant. Edith hates Angela and has an implied incestuous relationship with her father Sol.

LANCE SUSSMAN - Angela's son played by Stark Sands. He is the apple of his mother's eye despite his gay leanings - even when it comes to Tony Parker.

BOOTSIE CARP - The family maid. She is loyal to Sol and seems to be finding all sorts of deadly apparatus around the house and grounds. She detests Angela with a passion. Played by Frances Conroy who everyone knows from 6 Feet Under.

With this list of crazy crackpot characters, it's recipe for murder - literally.
The plot surrounds Angela's supposed return to the limelight after many years in retirement and her family's problems. She hates her husband and daughter and when her husband scuppers her chances of success, she takes matters into her own hands - or does she??
There's death by anal suppository, Angela throws a letter opener into her daughters face, she is involved in a spit roast with 2 delivery boys, takes LCD and unveils her secret past in a drugged up haze thanks to her daughter and son. The end sequence is sublime as Angela re-emerges into the public a la Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard. Charles Busch's homage to great movies like All About Eve, Sunset Blvd, Dead Ringer, The Big Cube, any Joan Crawford movie, Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte to name but a few show how fond he is of these great movie stars. Like all of them, Die Mommie Die has a strange twist or 4 before the end credits roll which I won't reveal but I will reveal that Jason Priestley has some man on man action which is crazy sexy cool!

TRIVIA

- The movie was filmed within an 18 day period.

- Anthony Edwards from ER was one of the exec producers.

- Most of Busch's wardrobe came from a stock of old Broadway and US Touring productions of musicals

- Charles Busch insisted on being filmed only on his right side throughout filming whenever possible - just as Claudette Colbert did in her career.

- The owner of the mansion where much of the action takes place appears in the final scene and had to be held back by the director for "over acting"

- Angela's signature song "Why Not Me?" was actually sung by Ruth Williamson who played plastic surgery loving Mrs Grubman in the TV drama Nip/Tuck

- Jason Priestley had his famous car accident 2 weeks after filming finished on the movie.

CAMPEST DIALOGUE KNOWN TO MAN

This movie has almost as many great lines as All About Eve and Valley of the Dolls put together and that's saying something. Charles Busch was on the money when writing the screenplay, it's just fabulous.

ANGELA - Darling daughter, you sound like a square from Squaresville.
EDITH - Square to you because I don't sleep around with every delivery boy or parking attendant.

EDITH - What you could possibly see in my mother except her frequently opened chequebook.
TONY - She's a wonderful gardener.

TONY - Why do you hate your mother so?
EDITH - I hate her because she's a money-grubbing selfish bitch who ruined my father's life, and a promiscuous slut who spends all my father's hard-earned money on trash like you!
TONY - That's not good enough.

ANGELA - Who are you Tony Parker? You've slipped into my life as easily as vermouth into a glass of gin..... Quickly and just a bit too smooth.

ANGELA - Darling, just tell me this - the truth and I'll be behind you 100% no matter you say - are you...... are you a cocksucker?

EDITH - My first piece of advice would be - cancel your next face lift and start acting your age.

LANCE - Buster, if you want any singin' outta me, you better haul out that bratwurst and spread some mustard on it.
TONY - It's a deal.

ANGELA - I want you out of my house, I want you out of my life - just get out!
TONY - You can't discard me like one of your false eyelashes. This is Tony, I'm in for the longhaul.
ANGELA - GET OUT!!!

ANGELA - I hate this house! I hate these walls... I hate that sofa! The only part of this dump that doesn't make me puke is that door - because that's the way I'm gettin' out!

ANGELA -Sexual fulfilment is every woman's God given right. And by golly, I'm going to grab it.

ANGELA - Tuckman! You better slap on your jockstrap cos I intend to give your cajones a mean twist. Nothing personal Bootsie.

ANGELA - (to Edith) I'm in no mood for your patented brand of bitchery missy.

BOOTSIE - She who transgresses the loss of man shall dwell forever in the fires of Beelzebub.
ANGELA - That's a rather odd thing to say Bootsie - even from you.
BOOTSIE - Heathen purge thy sins!! After 25 years in this house, I know all of your dirty little secrets and I mean all of them!
ANGELA - And after 25 years, you finally show your true colours and I must say, it's not terribly attractive.

TAGLINES
She's a living legend who's living a lie
Some legends are hard to kill
Showbiz is a bitch
Angela Arden isn't herself these days
You can't keep a good woman down
She's every man's dream - and one family's nightmare
HOLLYWOOD, It's a dirty town but someone's got to do it