LIZA WITH A YAY

My civic duties are over - thank god!! It was far more intense than I ever imagined and life is back to some kind of normality.

Except for the fact that I barely eat a full dinner and have been munching on Special K cereal twice a day for most of the week. I also managed to go to 4 gym classes - my commitment has surprised even me as I get bored and find excuses not to go but I made a point and loved it all. The feeling after a good workout is almost as good an orgasm or a good episode of Dynasty - I think the same hormones are released!

By going to the gym a bit more, I've learned to see the regular faces. It's full of gays and full of stereotypes. Now I know you can all imagine these people in any gym around the world.

THE GIRL WHO'S OLD AND THIN - She works like a bitch - 3 classes a night and maintains a killer figure. She's single and a lot of her friends are gym buddies.

THE GIRL WHO'S A MUM AND ALWAYS FAT - No matter how much she works and sweats, her weight never shifts.

THE TRY HARD GAY - He has no rhythm for any class and is always on the wrong foot but is first there every week.

THE SHOW OFF GAY - He has a great figure already. He wears the shortest of shorts and stands at the front of the class, the female instructors love him

THE GIRL ON HER FIRST CLASS - She wears muted colours and sweats a little bit but doesn't want to show she's trying too hard and will cancel her membership in a month.

THE GUY WHO GOES WITH A PARTNER - Don't you always see a bulky guy "supporting" his girlfriend. They always have matching yoga mats and both flick their hair a lot.

THE DAG - aka - ME! I always wear a simple tshirt and sweat like a whore. I find the steps easy but am always mid-studio. Never at the front but can whoop when required to build the atmosphere!

So I'm going to stick to the new eating and working out plan for this week aswell. I have met some nice people and the more you go, the more you can see it's a wee community. I met one of the guys at the gym the other week and saw him out this weekend - he said he's almost the social convenor for the gym and all the gays know each other. Apparently it's quite incestuous and I will be honest - some of the guys are just delish.

After gym on Friday I dashed back the way and met my friend Alan and we went to see Liza Minnelli. She's a legend - she's Judy Garland's daughter, she was in Steppin Out and she is one of the few people to win the Oscar, The Emmy, The Golden Globe and The Tony. She's Liza Minnelli and she ripped up Glasgow. The crowd went mental for her. So many standing ovations and although her voice isn't what it was almost 40 years ago in Cabaret, it can still belt out. The audience were crying when she spoke of her momma dying and anything mentioned to do with Judy or Vincente Minnelli was met with rapturous applause. Scottish thespian/homeless person impersonator Alan Cumming was in the audience whom Liza pointed out. He was wearing rags and looked horrendous. I wanted to run up to him and scream "SEBASTIEN" from The High Life but I held back and just said it to Alan instead.