GLITTERBALL

Been working like a dawg all week in my new job. These early starts are a bitch and I can't wait to get to my branch in the city centre instead of hoofing it to Polo Mint City East Kilbride - for the uninitiated it's called Polo Mint City cos of all the roundabouts. The training class is fun though and I've had everyone up doing salsa for some energising after lunch. Like most workplaces, there's a few bad apples ie wankers but the majority are good fun. I seem to have an affinity with the over 35 year old women cos they laugh at all my cheeky comments. Went out Friday and Saturday without so much as a disco nap - Friday was beyond bollocks and I was in a hound of a mood. Bumped into Alan (the trolley dolly) the other night and as his mate watched TV in my living room, Alan and I were enjoy some heavy petting. On Friday night he was out but was rather distant - possibly to do with the fact that he was off his face which I can't really be arsed with. Saturday was a different kettle of fish - Jon and I went out and got ripped to the tits with booze practically dripping from my pores! Some guy bumped into me on the dancefloor so I did what any self respecting homo would do and had a wee snog with him.

Twitchy Michael was out wearing a kilt and what looked like his grandfather's jacket - it had bigger shoulder pads than Linda Evans circa 1983. Naturally because he was wearing a kilt, I put my hand up and lo and behold - he was a true Scotsman. He wiped his dick over my hand which led me to lick my fingers - all very classy - I wouldn't have minded if his dick was big or hard but it was neither.

Came home and my neighbour was having a bit of a shindig so we went there for a while afterwards but it was a bit blah so made our excuses and left - not before David's absence was noted. One night, my neighbour and his mates bumped into David who for some reason had glitter all over his face - since then he's been known as Glitterball. I walked in the living room and after the usual intros and "how are you?" and "what you been up to?" (which I never really listen to anyway cos at these parties it can always be a little stilted) someone asked where Glitterball was. Glitterball was taking one of his infamous disco naps and so missed the nightcompletely! Pretty soon, Jon and I decided to disembark the SS Fiasco and head upstairs especially when a balding thin man was getting a little bit too familiar for my liking!