A FAIRY STORY

Karen Carpenter has a voice like velvet. She never hits a bum note and every song has he distinctive smooth vocal on it. Some call it easy listening but i'm in bliss just now as she's belting out 'Rainy Days' and 'Yesterday Once More' There's a girl who always sings that in karaoke in Dels on a Sunday and she has the place eating out of her hand as she walks about and sounds like Karen Carpenter. I saw her first about 6 years ago when Dels on a Sunday was the done thing and was totally jumping. Karaoke was a fun part of it as the pub was rammed and the atmosphere electric. There was Shavaz the gay asian who had appeared in a BBC documentary about having anal sex, Natalie the loud lesbian who murdered the murderous Barbie Girl and flashed her tits a lot, Andrew who's now an actor in a kids TV show who belted out Des'ree's 'Life'. Jane the angst ridden lesbian wife of Karen Dunbar a funny TV comics who could only sing Alanis Morissette - change the record sista.

I'm not one for looking back too much but frail and anorexic thin Karen has gotten me all reflective. When I first admitted to someone else I was a gayer at the age of 19, I was stinking of fish! I had just finished a shift at Harry Ramsdens with Lorraine Stuart. We had been getting closer and having deep conversations a lot and she and I had it out one night. It felt like such a relief and looking back I don't credit her enough for being such a great sounding board. My first gay club was a Thursday night in Bennets with the crew from Harry's as it was the cleaner's birthday and he wanted to go. I had the time of my life as I was surrounded by gay people and for the first time in my life I think I felt entirely comfortable in my surroundings and my own skin. A few weeks later and still being a hetty, Kevin the cleaner left Harry's so on his leaving night we were queuing to get into Bennets, a few of the others left as Kevin had nipped round the corner to buy poppers and left me myself, I was torn to be true to myself and stay or go with the crowd - I stayed.

That night was brilliant, Kevin was so supportive and I had a fabulous night dancing and drinking. I learned that there was transexuals in Glasgow with blonde wigs! I learned that gay guys kissed each other to say goodbye and I learned that I was definitely gay. I didn't pull that night but did end up at a party til 6 in the morning, soaking everything in! A few weeks after that, Lorraine and I had our chat. Lorraine's cousin, Gillian had come back down from working up North and after a night at Lorraine's we decided to go out that night as she decided for definite that she was a lesbian. That started a 3 month cycle that I think every newbie goes through.

We went out to Bennets and Delmonicas and had a fab night. Within a few days, we were inseperable and out all the time. It didn't take long to meet people. Gillian was a forward kinda gal and one night after work I arranged to meet her in Sadie Frost's where she was being chatted up by old Sandra who was known for showing her tits a lot and being able to turn a pint up and down with a flick of her wrist without spilling a drop. One Sunday night I got talking to a guy called Craig who was a mate of Sandra's who had by now been sacked for stealing a tin of pineapples and was also now bumping cunts with Gillian. I thought Craig was gorgeous and a few days later, Gillian called me as she was talking to Craig in Sadie Frost's. I went to meet her and we all went out to Bennets, Craig and I had been getting very cosy and me being all wide eyed and innocent was a tad infatuated. We got into Bennets quite early and we were dancing. Gillian left early doors with Sandra and I was unsure but Craig let me onto the dancefloor and as the song progressed we got closer, touching each other and he leaned in and we kissed. It got pretty passionate on the dancefloor but I didn't care, my mind was buzzing as finally everything fitted into place, I didn't feel guilt, ashamed or that I was doing something wrong - it was right and believe me, it was good! Within a second I felt transformed from a closeted gay guy to finally taking the plunge and accepting who I was - a gay man. I had known for a while I was gay but that one kiss with Craig sealed the deal. You always remember your first time and for me, this was one of the best 'firsts' of my life.