PRETTY GIRLS DON'T GET LONELY

I'm absolutely smashingly delighted that people have taken the time to comment on my blog or email me, it shows that people are interested and the more fragile side of my personality is validated once again. Everyone likes to be praised and I'm no different so I'm going to be a greedy bitch and expect regular updates from ALL my readers you mother fuckers!

Last night, we went for a drink at about 8pm to the rather fabulous Metropolitan in Merchant Square, it wasn't that busy but those straight boys sure know how to moisturize and dress well. Cam, Jon and I made an effort to go to a few straight bars before hitting the usual suspects and it was a lot of fun. There's a whole other side to Glasgow that I don't see that often and let me tell you - it's Hot McHott Hot. The men have discovered things like tight jeans, tighter tops, colour co-ordination and flattering lines. There are of course others who have yet to master the basics such as : -
1. A horizontally striped top looks good on no-one
2. Sometimes, a streak of blond through the hair can be a mistake
3. Drinking Bud and scratching your balls doesn't entice the salmon castanets.
4. A beer belly is just wrong, wrong, wrong
5. Bad clothes can happen to good people

So anyway, this drink turned into many drinks and before I knew it, it was 4am and Jon and I were getting a lift home from a guy that Jon banged and hadn't really spoken to much recently and he was driving us home in Jon's car. I somehow managed to get up this morning still 3 sheets to the wind, have a shower and head to work and almost pretend to be sobering up. Unfortunately for me, today was the day when everyone and their dog wanted to have meetings or chat and to be honest, the fact that vodka was almost dripping from my pores was not the most professional state to be in but it's all good and my sort of unhealthy glow kept me going all day.

I know I've been neglecting my TOP 100 FABULOUS TV SCENES EVER posts but there's a reason for this - the final episode of Desperate Housewives airs in like a month and I'm praying for paydirt with a cliffhanger to end all cliffhangers and keep me hooked on these suburban sluts until September when it returns. So I'm hoping to insert the finale as one of the upcoming posts. Last night's episode alone deserved a few entries with Bree Van De Kamp trying to straighten out her gay son. She enlisted the local reverend to sort the wayward boy out and keep him from being a 'sodomite' - Bree's quote, not mine. Poor ginger Bree has no clue that her son is possibly the bastard love child demon seed of Satan and Alexis Carrington who is intent on destroying his mother's life. Gabrielle is going up in my estimations every week as a contender for best Housewife as she continued her affair with yummy gardener John. He gave her his credit card which she used quite merrily and flaunted her purchases in front of tight wad hubby Carlos who seems to be in a bath full of soap suds so much his dick must be like a prune. Gabrielle warned him 'I'm a pretty girl, and pretty girls don't get lonely' A classic on this fabulous show. I have my own theories as to how it's all going to end up but they've kept us guessing all year so I'm praying that there's still going to be trouble brewing like a bad cup of tea next year in Wisteria Lane - and I'm also hoping for a LOT more screen time for Nicolette Sheridan's Edie Britt. I just filled out a test on a website and apparently I'm most like Edie Britt so I can relate that she needs more screen time!!

I was also directed (thanks Lubin) to possibly the most fucked up blog I've ever read in my life. It's called Bryanboy: Le Superstar Fabuleux. I've already added a link on my links so check it out. I've gathered he's an Asian Raver who clearly works in a sweatshop for every designer imaginable in some crack den in Manila or South America and he can't get enough Fendi, Louis Vuitton and Chanel. There has to be something worng with a grown man who puts on what I think is his sister's ugly blue tights and not only get a picture of this escapade but actually publishes it on the web. Well I'm all for live and let live so good luck to him - I bet he gets his Balenciaga bags dirt cheap before they're exported along with a dozen illegal immigrants stuck in a crate of Dior knickers headed for Paris - the lucky bitch.

So on his blog he's got some music which I normally can't be arsed with but I had to listen to the soundclip from the Dior Spring/Summer 2005 Collection (a MUST HAVE in any music collection.) It was a rather fabulous and camp mix of Aqua's Barbie Girl in a bossa nova style and then segued seamlessly into Vanessa Paradis' Joe Le Taxi. Blame it on the Bossa Nova but it's shit hot! Vanessa's more known now for having Johnny Depp entering her on a regular basis but in 1988 she released this fabulous track about Joe The Taxi Driver. In the video she had stonewash jeans that were so in then and a rather large yellow jumper. It was all a bit jail bait as Vanessa was getting picked up by this greasy Parisian Taxi driver called Joe and she was only 15 at the time. Thankfully after a spell of modelling for Chanel and working with Lenny Kravitz she grew into a real sexpot - no other word to describe her - and she's got a pout that could make an army cum in their pants.



Go Vanessa!