A DIRTY SHAME

Had a rather fun weekend. Decided to pick myself up and be the glamorous person I'm supposed to be so went to a rather humid and sexy night at the Arches called Havana Club - it was all very salsa Cuban latino and great fun. Stewart had wangled some free passes and there was a free bar for a while. It was pretty busy and the waitresses with cocktail sticks of fajitas and prawn went down a treat. Stewart also got some maracas to shake as the percussionist kicked in on a very different and exciting night. I got pretty pissed on all the rum and was in bed for midnight being the lightweight I am. Jon called on Saturday to go for lunch so naturally I had to meet him. We trawled some shops looking at hot boys and then had a chew and chat for lunch. I then decided to head to the sauna for some Saturday shopper fun. I had hoped to find a few husbands still there as their wives go shopping but it was as dead as a doornail with very few people there. I did meet a rather strikingly handsome straight looking man who was into "anything" I rubbed my hands with glee as I got down to some serious business with him. All was going well as I entered him which he was gagging for and he kept on asking me to "fucking fuck me" I obliged and was enjoying the legs at my shoulders but got bored quickly so commanded him to "Bend over" which he did. It was then that I smelled something odd, like stale sex - then the smell continued and I realised it wasn't so much stale sex as fresh shit.

The oddest thing was that it was rather dark and I couldn't get a great view but another guy came into the room for a gander. I took this as my opportunity to make a quick dash - I disappeared throwing the condom in the bin and sure enough as I ventured into the showers, there was number 2 on my hands and round my cock. What was even odder was the fact that as I showered his excrement from my body that the guy who walked in didn't join me. For all I know, he could still be there literally fucking th shit of the hot guy. What a disappointment... What good's a guy with a dirty hole? The only saving grace is that I didn't rim him!

This has never happened to me and I hope it never happens again - but it was certainly one to tell the grandkids - well maybe not grandkids but one for the mates when we're trading stories. I was working in the pub on Saturday and had some good fun, I'm quitting it soon as I want my Saturday night's back but am always open to going back to pull some pints and bring some sparkle to the proceedings. This weekend I'm off to Blackpool for my drag queen fix. I think we're going to Funny Girls and then the new Flamingos for a debauched night. Stewart's friend has booked a gay B&B - I can only pray that there's locks on the doors and we have our own bathrooms. I've seen enough shit for a while!