THE SMALLEST OF GESTURES

I'm feeling a tad blah today. Was out last night and had a rather fun night. It was a work shindig for Jon and David and Julia and Cam so Stewart and I tagged along to shake things up and ensure that work talk was not de rigeur.

Now this blog is a good way for me to release some of my emotions and express myself in a way easy to me and I'm not going to bore people with self pitying statements but I kinda realised a fair bit about myself from last night and today on a course in work. A girl on the course managed to extract feelings and thoughts from me that I've never shown before which was a big shock but to be honest, the content was not surprising. I just feel a bit vulnerable.

I was leaving Tunnel last night and had Cam and Jon hugging me making sure I was ok which is wonderful as I was tired, pissed and more than a little blah. I woke up this morning and was instructed to wake up Jon which I did and he said he had left some headache tablets for me. For some reason this smallest of gestures meant a lot. My friends are great and sometimes I wonder how they put up with me being such a cunt and so bitter the majority of the time.

I met an old friend last night and chatted to him about all sorts of things from my past and the kind of person I am and where I want to be. He mentioned that I'm totally different to when he first met me 7 years ago and I'm not as bubbly. I thought about it more today. I was 19 then and still wet behind the ears, now I'm almost 27 and already jaded. I'm an extremely competitive person in every aspect of my life and right now one or two areas are where I'm not winning and it's bringing me down.

On a positive note I downloaded some obscure Amanda Lepore tracks, my favourite being my new catchphrase...
I Don't Know Much About Clothes But My Hair Looks Feirce.
My hair doesn't look that fierce to be honest but the sentiments there!