RETURN TO EDEN

In the mid 80s I was young impressionable child who was mesmerized by the glamour of Dynasty and Dallas. Dallas was Thursday nights and Dynasty was Friday nights. I was hooked by the shoulderpads and glitter and riches of the duelling families involved. Although I never really "got" it all, I got it all!!

My mum started watchin a show in a similar vein and again I became hooked. I was told to video it for her as she was always out at bingo with my nana on a Sunday night when it aired. This was my excuse to devour this guilty pleasure which I did so and it remains a favourite. I did some investigating this past week and had a delivery from Australia with the dvd from the show.

The show was Australia's answer to Dynasty and Dallas and The Colbys and was entitled RETURN TO EDEN. In 1983 a mini series had been produced and the resolution was completed and that was that. However, due to terific ratings, a full 22 part series was commisioned and I'm devouring it even more than when I was 8 and never understood everything.

Return to Eden focuses on Stephanie Harper, a rich heiress who runs Harper Mining. She had been attacked years before by a crocodile and became a model after falling in love with her plastic surgeon. Her husband, who threw her to the crocodiles was killed by her friend Jilly Stewart and Jilly was sent to prison.

The actual series picks up at the time of Jilly's release and the discovery that arch enemies, Saintly Stephanie and Nasty Jilly are actually sisters. Now bad acting doesn't come any worse than in Return To Eden. The other villain of the piece, Jake Sanders played by Daniel Abineri is more wooden than a carpenters but it makes it infinitely more interesting when watching Peta "Karen Travers from Prisoner" Toppano camp it up as the vicious Jilly who sneers and sneaks through every episode, hell bent on destroying her sister. There are enough plot twists to keep any soap addict hooked and I am. Just now, Steph is fighting for control of Harper Mining but seeing a psychologist as Olive, Jilly's old prison pal, planted a crocodile in the family pool at Steph's mansion. Steph had already been mauled by one croc and seeing her being chased by one is fabulous. Other highlights have seen Dennis Harper, Steph's son, strip off in anightclub and get pictures taken, the shocker that Jake Sanders is the brother of Stephanie's first husband who fed her to the crocodiles. It's almost as though the producers have thrown every soap cliffhanger and cliche into every episode and it's become 22 episodes of fabulousness!! It's going to get crazier as I remember Stephanie going into the water to commit suicide and a death by snake! Those were classic scenes for me as a child and I can't wait to see what I think now 20 years on!!

The costumes are outrageous, the acting abysmal from some although Rebecca Gilling as Steph and Peta Toppano as Jilly perform admirably but with the craziest plot twists ever, they naturally camp it up a bit. So I'm obsessed with all things at Harper Mining for the next week or so. I can't wait for a few more deaths that i know are coming and the fabulous finale.

I remember watching the finale and getting that major thrill that people get when something excites them to the bone. I got that watching Stephanie, Jilly and Jake duke it out in the final scene on a Sunday night before school. I felt so adult and so soapie, I'm sure I wandered about with a soap bitch sneer for a few days afterwards! Highly recommend this slice of unbelievable nonsense that is so good it must be bad!!!