BIG PERMS & BOURBON N BRANCH

I haven't blogged in a fortnight - this time I do have a reasonable excuse, I decided on returning from New York that I wasn't going to go crazy and continue buying dvds - but rather visit some dvds I haven't explored properly. I have hundreds and wanted to get my teeth into some good drama. What better drama than DALLAS?

I was up to date with most of the seasons but hadn't fully watched Season 6. It starts of with Cliff in a coma after trying to kill himself. He lives. Boriiiiinnngggg. However, the rest of the year has so much double crossing and conniving, it takes 28 episodes for maybe JR Ewing to get his comeuppance and have Southfork engulfed in flames after a fistfight with Ray Krebbs.

The main plotline this season was Jock's will being read. He wrote a codicil which meant JR and Bobby had 1 year to take half the company each, whichever brother had made the most profit by the end of the year would take full control of Ewing Oil. Bobby lost Pam in the process as she simpered and whimpered away about the battle for Ewing Oil destroying their marriage.

Pam Ewing did my tits in towards the end of the season as she flirted openly with Mark Graison despite Bobby being shirtless a lot whereas Bobby was unwittingly caught up in Katherine's web of deceit. She actually kissed Mark on a trip to France and still found a way to blame Bobby for it and say that she didn't have to answer to him. Bobby just looked at her with his puppy dog eyes and whispered that husky voice a bit.

Swellen started sober and finished a pisshead. The previous year she went to see Cliff with long hair and came out of the hospital room at the start of season 6 with a wild 80s hairdo. She was in a quandary whether or not to marry JR. Which she did. in the carpark at Southfork of course. She found JR cheating with the very underused Holly Harwood and immediately hit the the bottle and quivered her bottom lip a lot. By season's end, she had been in a car crash and was throwing wine bottles at JR with aplomb.

Miss Ellie wore the same style of outfit all season and ran on that bloody stationery bike beside the pool a lot. Poison Dwarf Lucy Ewing spent the whole season moaning about men and somehow managing to hold a successful career as a model of all things. Her hair just got bigger and bigger and that's all really.

The best part of this season was when Rebecca Wentworth died, still in full makeup and bandaged up. This meant that psycho Katherine Wentworth returned and decided to sink her claws into Bobby. As each episode went on, she got camper and her hair got bigger until at one point, it looked as though she was going for a big perm beehive and that it was overtaking her body piled up so high. She gave a saucy smirk and schemed to get into Bobby's pants and looked positively thrilled when Pam announced she was getting a divorce.

One thing I have noticed about Dallas is that even without counting Swellen, it would be fabulous for a drinking game. I have never seen so many lunches, drinks at the Cattleman's Club, drinks in the office, drinks before dinner, drinks at seedy bars. All the cast do is drink. I'm surprised that Swellen was th eonly one with a drink problem..... If ever you're planning a party, stick on any episode of Dallas and anytime a character has a drink, you have one. I guarantee you will be pissed as arseholes by episodes end.

Good cliffhanger with JR and Ray scrapping at Southfork and inadvertently setting the ranch on fire, getting trapped in the flames with Swellen and John Ross sleeping upstairs. Bobby and Pam's marriage has gone tits up, Afton threatens to leave Cliff and Mickey is dying in hospital after his car crash with Swellen. High drama, I only hope I can make it through the next season!!